


Is Your Bedroom Ceiling Bored, Like Mine?

by ShujiRiaa



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous/Open Ending, I Missed Verkwan Day by a bit but nonetheless here it is, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Alternating, Songfic, they are pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27591440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShujiRiaa/pseuds/ShujiRiaa
Summary: Vernon wasn’t really one to look for romance in every inch and crevice of the world. A year and a half into nursing a broken heart; he’d learned not to readily jump onto something that resembled a relationship. It made him doubt how he felt with Seungkwan as their months together (as friends, he had to emphasize) progressed.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Comments: 14
Kudos: 38





	Is Your Bedroom Ceiling Bored, Like Mine?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!
> 
> This is my belated thing for Verkwan day. Lots of pining? Hell yeah.  
>  Feel free to leave comments of kudos and, of course, enjoy! 
> 
> Note: the text between the three hearts are the present scenario! There's quite a lot of flashbacks here and there, so don't be confused by the flow ^^

> _I stay up late and I talk to the moon_   
>  _And I can’t stop telling him all about you_   
>  _Wonder if you do the same thing I do_

  
Seungkwan could feel how warm his face was becoming from laughing. 

Through the receiver, his best friend continued to rant about how a particular professor was getting on his nerves. 

“Like honestly? Who the hell gives minuses on brackets? It’s like he doesn’t want anyone to pass. What does he even get from that?” It amused Seungkwan to no end to hear Vernon’s usually calm voice peak up into higher ranges. Not to mention, the raw emotion and unadulterated annoyance that coated in his tone. 

“Maybe he has a reputation to keep up.” 

“To hell with that, he is seriously going to get a bad review from me. 10 rotten tomatoes and a spoiled piece of fungi too.” Seungkwan burst into another fit of laughter at the exclamation. 

College was already difficult as it was. Insane workloads, extra curricular activities that mattered after college and professors that seemed to work against the students interest were some of the things that made college hard for Seungkwan. In contrast, one reasons that made college bearable; single-handedly having balanced the negatives--was Vernon. 

  
Vernon had been Seungkwan’s first college friend; having studied in a small school in his hometown all his life, Boo was quite apprehensive with making new friends in a new city. It wasn’t because he was an introvert. 

Far from it, actually. 

He was quite extroverted from the get go and he realized how that could be seen as problematic to some. Really, he tried to conceal his very outward personality during orientation day. 

He remembered the day like it was yesterday; Seungkwan was a starry-eyed freshman who wanted to make it in the distinguished university he was in. That morning, he woke up two hours earlier than he was supposed to (and it surely wasn’t because of jitters), prepared his little bag and talked to his mother through the phone as an attempt to calm himself. Although it helped a smidgen, he realized that the jitters only sunk in when he was at the university gates. 

He made a vow to not make a fool of himself and put up a good front, but of course he just had to trip on the way to his assigned chair----just so happened to step on the person beside him (who looked like quite a sight had he not been so frazzled by tripping). 

“Whoa there..Careful.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry....”

Thankfully, the boy—Vernon, he introduced himself later on—didn’t take the shitty first impression as a lasting one. He indulged Seungkwan throughout the day and it extended; even to the first semester, then to the second. 

And extended to the present, too. As they entered the doors of Sophomore year, Seungkwan found a place by Vernon’s side. It felt nice to have someone to lean on while he was far from home. 

Slowly and surely, he realized that Vernon just felt like home, somehow. 

Did that have to sound as sappy as it did? No, but it was the only way he could ever describe it.

♡♡♡

“Anyway, enough about my day. How were online classes, Kwannie?”   
“Nothing too new. Lived for English, though. Our reading was really interesting.” 

On the other side of the line, Vernon looked up at his ceiling as he listened. A little smile formed on his lips unknowingly. 

“Tell me about it then.”   
“I might go on all day about it. I really found a lot of material in it and—nevermind. It’ll unleash the chatterbox. “ 

'Chatterbox?' Vernon wondered, quick to verbally dispel the thought on Seungkwan’s mind.

“And so? I wanna hear about it. My English readings are far too boring anyway. So lay it on me, Kwannie.” The other began. Vernon slowly closed his eyes and listened (with understanding) to Seungkwan’s voice.

♡♡♡

Vernon wasn’t really one to look for romance in every inch and crevice of the world. A year and a half into nursing a broken heart; he’d learned not to readily jump onto something that resembled a relationship. It made him doubt how he felt with Seungkwan as their months together (as friends, he had to emphasize) progressed.

Crushing on him; it wasn’t part of Vernon’s short, 4-year plan at all. As a matter of fact, he went through all 5 Stages of Grief when he tried to come to terms with those feelings. 

It began with denial. 

Vernon had been hanging out with Seungkwan for months now; breaks and vacant classes were spent together; pre-exam hours were spent reviewing and post-exam crying sessions became a thing every so often. To say that he cared for Seungkwan would be a major understatement. Despite the lack of years of friendship as a foundation, he’d seen Seungkwan ingenuity and it made him trust wholeheartedly; no questions asked. 

Would he lie to the people Seungkwan was hiding from who were only after his influence? He would. Would he cut (at most) one class just so that Seungkwan could calm down from an episode of pre-presentation jitters? If that class didn’t have an important requirement, he would. 

Everything about their relationship seemed platonic to Vernon; and he thought that the people around him understood that too. 

The short answer was no. 

This self-assigned label was tested when Chan; a friend and blockmate, asked what he and Seungkwan were.

(and inevitably, caused quite an internal crisis for Vernon).

  
“Hyung. Are you guys dating?” Chan asked while they worked on a paired activity in their Science class. His voice was quiet, thankfully, but was straightforward nonetheless.

“Who?”  
“You and Seungkwan hyung?” Brown eyes bore into Dino’s; Vernon’s pen lifted from the paper. 

And he just stared. Dino remained unfazed though. 

  
“We're best friends, obviously. What made you say that?”   
“Well. I’ve been hanging out with the block recently and they’ve been talking about how couple-y you guys acted. They’re assuming that you guys are a thing and that’s why it went without saying.” 

Vernon looked back on the paper he was working on, letting the other continue. 

“Bur I dunno. I just wanted to know from you if it’s true instead of believing heresy or something.” Chan explained. He took the other page of the lab sheet that they were working on and rewriting their answers for the activity. 

“Thank you for asking me about it. Clear answer: we aren’t together. I’m just comfortable with Seungkwan around. It..uh..kinda takes me a bit to get used to someone and you know how he is..” Vernon trailed off, erasing the pencil marks on the first page of the activity. 

“He’s a social butterfly, ain’t he?”   
“Yes, very much.” Vernon quieted after this. 

“It’s okay, hyung. I won’t spread it.” Dino gave a little chuckle.  
“Thanks for that.” His bright, stitch-like smile beamed at his partner. 

“People are quick to assume, huh?” The younger asked with his brow raised.  
“Far too quick, if you asked me.” Vernon smiled at Chan when the other left to submit their papers. 

Although the topic passed fairly quickly, it stayed in Vernon’s mind until he got home. He got to thinking and re-evaluating how he treated Seungkwan; done so much thinking to the point that he drifted off with the thoughts about Seungkwan swimming in his mind. 

Days came and passed, and Vernon was able to check off each stage of grief silently.

Misdirected anger to his blockmates for assuming and making him feel odd and conscious about how he hung around Seungkwan. 

An internal bargain about how his blockmates probably had nothing better to do and maybe it would help if he avoided Seungkwan for a bit just for damage control. 

(Which was immediately ruled out because it would be unfair to his friend and because Seungkwan invited him to eat at his favorite restaurant the day he planned to try). 

His resolve was always strong; he barely caved into things like these. But somehow, Seungkwan was someone he was weak to. 

The end of the second semester drew close, the final two months of it having felt like a blur of deadlines and presentations. They barely had enough time to really hang out with each other, yet no apologies were needed when one of them would get up and go after their lunches together. It was understood without a word.

Weeks of that passed and summer rolled in. Vernon was able to give himself the break he needed; from academics, extracurricular work, and the great amount of doubt that swam his head. 

It lasted for just a month, though. 

They had kept contact even in the break and really, Vernon could only see the good things he felt when he talked with Seungkwan. Silences were comfortable, talks were easy and no joke or topic seemed all too forced. It got Vernon thinking.

‘If this...is what a relationship would feel like...I think, I’d be okay with it.’ 

And at that, Vernon had completed the final stage of grief ; acceptance.

  
That his resolve about love and romance was wrong and that Seungkwan is the very reason of the change. 

Had Vernon felt this earlier than two months of having surrendered to the pining fuzziness, he would've been crossed.

But this was Seungkwan. He couldn't find it in his heart to be mad when the occupant of said heart was who that hypothetical anger would have been geared towards. 

He couldn't find anything but endearment towards Seungkwan. And he found that didn't mind that at all. 

> _And these four white walls they know more than my friends_   
>  _They watch me type messages I’ll never send_   
>  _This is the place that I just can’t pretend to be alright._

Pining wasn’t painful this time around; Vernon noticed. It wasn’t overly sappy, and he never found the need to voice it out to everyone he knew. Thoughts about the things he appreciated about Seungkwan already flowed through his mind every so often, the whole pining thing merely increased it. 

(Maybe it just added a few brain fart moments, and more of his heart going all mushy and maybe just a tad bit of warmth on his cheeks that he never experienced before. But that wasn’t too essential to mention).

If he were to enumerate a few of the newly welcomed thoughts, he would begin with Seunkwan’s kindness, ingenuinity, and charisma. Vernon, and many others, always found that amazing of him. 

There came a slight change brought along by the acceptance of the more-than-friendly feelings; it was the viewing lens that made Vernon more aware of a few more things he appreciated about Seungkwan. 

Like when Seungkwan would talk to him through the phone. It was easy to visualize how Seungkwan would look; his lips all pouted and eyebrows scrunched when Vernon would joke about not taking his vitamins (he became more diligent about it because of Seungkwan, actually) which he found endearing. 

Or maybe when Seungkwan would try to comfort Vernon when Seungkwan initiated a healing call (aka a breakdown session for the latter). In the times that he would say sorry while crying and Vernon had to be firm yet gentle when he continuously repeated that

“you have nothing to be sorry for. It’s your feelings, and you’re allowed to feel that way,” 

Another is when Seungkwan hummed to the different OSTs when they would have movie nights during the summer break. Vernon always listened and even encouraged Seungkwan to sing along because he loved hearing the other’s voice. 

Speaking of voice, the way Seungkwan’s speaking tone would border melodic with the pitch changes when he’s talking about what he liked. It was something that Vernon loved hearing.

He liked---loved all these things about Seungkwan. This newfound endearment brought inexplicable feelings with it; indescribable scenarios where Vernon wished that he could simply say the eight lettered, three word phrase just to be rewarded with a smile towards him. 

♡♡♡

It was moments such as now, where he listened to Seungkwan talk about a literary piece that twisted some aspect of Marxism or something into another. He conceded that politics weren’t something to smile about, but Seungkwan was; his tone, his emphasis. The emotions and little impersonations of the fictional yet politically adept characters in a way that only Seungkwan could deliver. 

All these made Vernon focus on how light his healed-heart felt; pining for Seungkwan. 

♡♡♡

> _I get up early and talk to the sun_   
>  _I ask her for guidance but she ain't got none_   
>  _How am I supposed to know you're not the one?_

Pining for Vernon was about forty times more stressful than any finals week and sixty times more frustrating than any drama series plot Seungkwan has ever watched—that was saying something. 

Seungkwan was early to spot the beginning signs of a crush. The way his eyes would suddenly drift down to Vernon’s lips when the other smiled, or the bit of internal banter he had with himself just to convince that he totally didn’t mind that Vernon was going to hang out with his orgmates for a bit. Or maybe when Seungkwan would catch himself remembering something Vernon told him that related to the pretty flower he saw on the way to his next class; not to mention the near-wordless communication that happened between them when they had the same lame joke; only that Seungkwan didn’t want it manifested into words and Vernon was there, already saying the joke much to his own amusement. 

Seungkwan caught himself early but what the hell would it have been for if he still fell hard.

He tried to condition himself that friends and friendly-ness was all he wanted, and that he was content and really ‘That smile doesn’t only have to be caused by me. I really don’t mind,’ was the denial that spoke in his mind.

It’s actually humorous to think that despite Seungkwan calling himself out on his bullshit (not having a crush, to be specific), the final chord in his heartstrings was struck by his darling mother over dinner when he went home. 

It was a wonderful family dinner that was full of chatter and gleeful jeers while they caught up on what happened in their lives while they were away. His sisters, with the brightest and loveliest smiles, talked about how their jobs and love interests were going. 

His mother had shared a fair amount of stories of how the town had a new noodle shop a few blocks away, and how the new neighbors were the kindest dears she’d met in a good while. 

When it came to Seungkwan’s time to share, he went on chronologically. 

It began with more details on their orientation day; an entire recount of the day and how he had met Vernon and how he was kind enough not to swear after he stepped on his white shoes.

(“He really wasn’t mad?”

“Yeah. But he had like. A constipated smile.”

“HAHAHA Kwannie he was definitely mad!”) 

And the story moved to his first month in uni where he had explored and found the most amazing (and conducive) study area on campus. This journey took a lot of wandering about with Vernon; and was discovered when he was bringing said friend to his next class venue. 

From there, Seungkwan simply rambled on other significant moments he could remember. Like when he was accepted in the club he wanted to be in, how he’d been given many opportunities to represent his block and organization; that he’d made a name for himself at least among his peers. When the topic of peers came up, he gave brief descriptions. 

An upperclassman--Seokmin--from his club; a man who was the literal definition of a ray of sunshine. Soonyoung; who he met through Seokmin, who seemed to take his tiger agenda too far (but was someone who helped him out when he had been stressing during finals week). Then Channie, one of the in-crowds of his block who was popular but was kind and genuine. Then a brief mention of Mingyu and Minghao who were part of the musician’s guild and how they helped the singing club every other meeting day. 

For some reason or another when it came to Vernon, Seungkwan can begin but couldn’t seem to end when he recounted their times together. When he had the mind to stop, three knowing gazes were shot at him. 

“What? Did I say something weird?” 

“My lovely brother, no. You just... talk about this Hansol kid like you’re feeling more than friendly feelings about him?”

“Oh, no. We’re just friends so...I can’t talk about those..”

“But you didn’t deny that you had those feelings?” At his silence, his two older sisters hi-fived. He looked down when he felt the warmth creep up his cheeks. His mother placed a comforting hold on his shoulder. 

“Am I really that obvious? I’ve been trying to stop it but...you know..—”

“Nonesense, baby brother. Why are you stopping yourself even?” 

“Because I don’t want to scare him away! He might not even be..you know...” At that, his family smiled in sympathy. He continued, nonetheless; despite having felt the familiar burn behind his eyes.

“But, I’ve been focusing on the good feelings he brings like..not on the what if’s but...on the ‘at least’ s. So it’s been...I’ve been coping well, I guess.” He tried to give a little smile, but it ended up more remorseful than he intended. 

“Tell us about the ‘at least’s then.” Seungkwan turned to his mother who spoke as she looked at him with encouragement, his sisters mirroring the expression. 

“Yeah, we at least want to know if the boy would be good enough for our baby bro. If ever, you know?”

“Mhmm! What made you like him in the first place?” 

Seungkwan began thinking, and the three females could see how the sadness slowly drained away to be replaced by endearment. 

“God, where do I start?” The mood lightened from there. 

> _I'm begging to the mirror 'cause I cannot find an answer_   
>  _Too busy falling apart and I wonder if you're moving on_   
>  _If you are, what's your secret?_   
>  _'Cause I can't work out where to start_

Time passed; and Seungkwan realized that his was one of the only crushes he didn't feel the need to move on from; he felt no heartache or bitter jealousy. All he felt was a soaring feeling of being happy. Elatedness.

Whenever his feelings flared up, he always felt like he was high above the clouds. He felt like he could sing about it to no end, could make as much poems and sappy dedications that par with the length of novels. It felt like he traveled the world—the moon even!— and went sightseeing only to come back home into Vernon's home-y smile. 

(Could it be shortened to saying that Seungkwan felt like a Disney Princess when he was with Vernon? Might as well.) 

As is, where is: As Vernon stayed by his side, was where Seungkwan's dwelling place. 

Happily crushing on Vernon was well worth the stress, he supposed. 

> _Is your bedroom ceiling bored like mine_   
>  _Of you staring at it all the time_

♡♡♡

They talked, and talked; reached a point where Vernon had placed his phone on it’s charging pad while he continued to talk to him. It was definitely one of those nights. 

When Seungkwan felt his heart afloat; when he felt the soothing warmth on his cheeks that didn’t fade. When he had to stop himself from giggling too often as to not be obvious. Yes, it was one of those nights when Seungkwan’s emotions towards Vernon peaked. High above the clouds where he imagined would mimic the feeling of calling the other ‘his’. He tried to anchor himself; ground his heart from completely flying out of his chest. 

But somehow, Seungkwan couldn’t. 

And somehow, it was already 2 am. And a synced up yawn from both of them gave a silent signal that it was time to end the call. 

Even though he didn’t want to. 

They both didn’t want to. 

“Hey Vernonie. Tomorrow’s a holiday, right?”

“Mm. D’you have any plans?”

“None really. Maybe I’d volunteer at the animal shelter by the neighborhood market. It’s been a while.” Seungkwan’s gaze softened as he heard the little gasp from Vernon. 

Delight and a smile was something Seungkwan could hear clearly in Vernon’s voice.

“You’ll visit Bun and Macaron?”

“Yep!” 

‘He remembered their names...’ The mention of the puppies just shot an arrow into Seungkwan’s heart. Why? Because Vernon remembered when he had visited his little town for a bit.

“Take pictures, please?”

“I’ll be sure to.”

>   
>  _'Cause it's seen so many nights while I cry and I yell at the sky_   
>  _For not telling you how I feel_

“Actually, Can’t I visit them with you?” Vernon heard a chuckle from the little receiver. 

“You’re like..3 hours away from me.” 

“Well. I don’t really have plans tomorrow. So..” He tried to reason out—tried to conceal the yearning that echoed in his mind. 

“You miss them that much?” 

‘I miss you, much more..’ Vernon had to stop himself from saying. Could he really bear to keep this in any longer? He could feel his chest heave slightly; hoping that the new void is enough space for his love for Seungkwan to fill. 

“You could say that..” But the little huff coming from his friend makes Vernon realize that the feelings would spill, and that no amount of space on earth could ever amount to what he felt for Seungkwan. 

Seungkwan tried to bite his lip and stop himself from saying something that teeter too much on the edge of being too friendly. But somehow, he was too late. 

“And me?”

“What about you?”

“..Do you miss me, too?” 

Seungkwan squeezed his eyes tight; trying not to cringe, hoping that he didn’t just ruin his chances over an impulse. Heat immediately rushed to his cheeks when he heard the laugh from the other end. 

“I guess you caught me.” 

“Huh?” 

“Well..I guess I miss you too.” A beat of silence passed.

“Then I’ll see you here, tomorrow?”

Vernon tried; again and again, to shrink the giddy smile on his lips. Only for him to fail. He knows his voice gave it away.

“Mhm. It’ll be a date, yeah?”

On the other side of the phone, Seungkwan tried to not fall even harder. 

Only for him to fail. He knew his answer gave it away. 

“Yup, it might as well be.” 

> _Is your bedroom ceiling bored_   
>  _Like mine?_

♡♡♡

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to yell at me in the comments or anything; I always appreciate the feedback. Hope you enjoyed! And have a great day ^^


End file.
